The dichotomy of my journey started in college.
I love learning and I have a very analytical mind, so as a female I had big plans to make a name for myself in a STEM major and onto the business world.
I started working as a receptionist and made dozens of connections in the technology space. I started working on business and math degrees. I applied for all of the STEM scholarships and even bought a few business-casual skirts (she’s a girl boss babe!!)
Then, a Finance class filled up so I had to take ‘Family Finance’ instead – and suddenly my plans came to a screeching halt.
I fell absolutely, head-over-heels in love with the Family Studies major. I loved everything about it: the practical applications to real life, the power to strengthen any relationship, the wholesome purpose behind everything.
So, confused but hopeful, I graduated with a Family Studies major and a business minor (plus a bonus minor in gerontology because I adore older people!)
The Blog/The Beginning
During the covid pandemic, I (like many) became so bored with the lack of social interaction! So I began writing lessons I’d learned from my major that could help anyone.
I remember agonizing over the name of the blog. I brainstormed with my husband:
“I would love for it to be about something kinda childish so that I could include my thoughts on motherhood when we have kids. But I also want it to include things about business or finances or practical life tips!”
So, confused but hopeful, CashAndCrayons was born!
“Cash” symbolizes my love for business and analytics, plus the fire in me to find a way to make money AND raise my kiddos full-time.
“Crayons” symbolizes a playful, creative, even goofy side of me and my career aspirations. In the end, I just want to make life and motherhood fun and cute.
Even though the rest of the year was still full of loneliness and unique pandemic struggles, writing blog posts and sharing them on Pinterest gave me enough purpose to battle it all, and I did.
Success on Instagram
At the beginning of 2021, I found out I was pregnant. After our visit to the OBGYN, I became sick with Covid. The mixture of Covid and 1st trimester symptoms left me bedridden for a month, and I had to quit both of my jobs.
Once again, I struggled with loneliness and a lack of purpose without having something to work to keep my mind busy. I decided to collect inspiration for pregnancy photos that I could recreate and post to Instagram. One of my favorite projects was capturing my weekly pregnancy belly by comparing it to the fruit or vegetable baby girl was the size of. Here she is weighing the same as a stalk of celery!
Creating content became my new passion project, and it became even more fun when I had my sweet baby girl!
I posted all the time about mommy and me outfits, baby activities/schedules, and celebrating everyday moments with kids!
Brands began to notice my passion and reached out to request brand collaborations (!!!) I made a few hundred dollars that year which absolutely blew my mind! I felt excited to create content as a way to help support my family financially, and I worked hard to learn about that potential career path.
Tryin out Tiktok
Then, we found out I was going to have a miscarriage.
At first, we had so many busy things going on that I found it easy to ignore the news of miscarriage and I thought I had just moved on quickly. But about a month later when I began to share the news with close friends and family, I realized that was not true.
Confused but hopeful, I sobbed on the phone to my best friend and felt frustrated with God.
The miscarriage itself was brutal. For days I felt sick and discouraged.
Desperate for something wholesome, I started posting on tiktok and re-fell in love with creating content! I launched a tiktok series about romanticizing motherhood, and doing so helped me choose gratitude each day.
However, I started to question my beliefs on posting my kiddos on the internet. I didn’t feel right about posting anymore until I intentionally set some boundaries.
So, confused but hopeful, I stopped posting across all platforms. At first it felt pretty lame, like I was shutting the journey down just as my potential business was starting up! But doing so helped me decide on some key aspects of my dream career.
Youtube hard launch
Finally starting a youtube channel was exactly the fresh start I needed.
A youtube channel feels so big and important because the content on there can be so evergreen! The more I worked on building a channel, the more I formed concrete plans and goals for a previously “delusional” content creating dream.
Honestly, I had no idea what to post about. BUT, confused and hopeful, I posted anyway. I tried something new every week. I covered tons of topics. I practiced various formats. And for some reason, people subscribed! This gave me hope, excitement, and motivation to keep posting, even if I had no idea where it would take me.
Slowly but surely, my youtube content trickled back down into the other social media platforms I love. I kicked off a new tiktok series, revived this blog, and restarted a new instagram page.
The dichotomy goes on
Now, here I am. Confused but hopeful, not sure about my purpose or plan, but overflowing with ideas to post. Not necessarily a content creator yet, but definitely building a community and enjoying it!
I’m so grateful that God gave me this dichotomy to wrestle with. It’s led me on a unique journey and I’m so excited to see where else it takes me.
I hope that if you feel conflicted, you can find my journey relatable or even hopeful.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read about my quest to a cozy content creating life! I hope the journey of your life is filled with gratitude and happiness.
I would greatly appreciate it if you took a quick moment to support my monthly newsletter by subscribing to it here: