Sex is sacred. It is special, vulnerable, and unique to every individual.
The sacred nature of sex can sometimes make it a taboo topic for families to discuss. Parents might not want to start conversations that make their children feel uncomfortable.
This discomfort might even lead to parents avoiding any conversations about intimacy with their children.
Even if it’s uncomfortable, parents need to teach their children about sex.
There are many good reasons WHY parents need to teach their children about sex. Here are a few:
1) If they don’t learn it from you, they will learn it from somewhere else.
Kids are resourceful and the internet is booming.
Even if you never teach your children about sex, they will find out about it. Whether they find articles online, books in the library, or chat with friends after school, it’s a topic with many resources to explore.
Once your child does decide to explore, you have no guarantee what those sources will teach. What you do know is that YOU can teach them out of LOVE. You can teach them:
- how to be healthy, fulfilled, and responsible when it comes to sex.
- that sex is sacred, vulnerable, and good.
- that you are a great source for discussing intimacy.
If you avoid teaching your child about sex, you have no guarantee what or how they will learn about it.
YOU have the chance to start a conversation about healthy sexuality with your kids. YOU can help them gain a wholesome understanding of intimacy.
2) Sex is GREAT.
Many rate the happiness of their lives or success of their marriage based on their sexual satisfaction.
Sex can be fun, fulfilling, and unifying to couples.
When parents avoid teaching their children about sex OR teach it in a way that says “I’m clearly uncomfortable with this topic”, children may get the impression that sex is bad, naughty, or even evil.
But it’s not!
YOU have the power to teach them that sex is good under specific boundaries. YOU can help them feel excited for, not scared of, sex.
3) Prepare them for their future family!
If you want grandkids… you need your kids to have sex, at least someday!
Your teachings on sexuality will help your kids become more mature and better prepared to have their own family.
They will even be able to use your examples and teachings for their own kids one day.
In addition to preparing for grandkids, your teachings on intimacy will prepare your children for marriage.
Your kid will someday be a partner to someone they love, and they will want to help fulfill their partner’s sexual needs.
Everybody wants to be a good lover. If your children learn that sex is bad or scary, they will likely face quite a few issues on their wedding night.
You don’t want that! Help your children look forward to the day they can fulfill their partner sexually as well as emotionally and mentally.
Bless their future spouse by helping your child understand healthy sexuality.
4) You want them to be happy.
If your kids never learn how to have a healthy and fulfilling sexual life, they are bound to long for it.
Sexuality is a basic human need. In marriage, couples seek to fulfill each other’s sexual needs. When those needs aren’t met, couples tend to face a lot of struggle. Why do you think there is such an occupation as sex therapists?
Though you won’t be privy to your children’s sexual relationships, you can help them prepare for healthy relationships starting now.
You can give your children a solid foundation of who they are as sexual beings.
You can help them look forward to having a happy marriage and sexual fulfillment.
5) Sex affects self confidence and vice versa.
In a similar vein, sexual fulfillment is a part of who we are, and struggles with sexuality can have negative affects on other aspects of our lives.
Sex and intimacy are heavily intertwined with self-esteem, body positivity, vulnerableness, etc.
Teaching about sex is another way to teach your kid about his or her body, how to use it and love it, and how to be a fulfilled person overall.
6) Build intrinsic motivation.
The final reason to teach your children about sex is so that you can teach them the WHYs behind sexuality.
A common misconception is that parents talking about sex with their children will spike a kid’s interest, leading them to exploration. Research has shown that the opposite is true.
The more healthy sexuality is discussed in the home, the more virtuous youth are likely to be.
When children learn wholesome views on sexuality, they are able to understand why it’s so sacred and special. They are more likely to remain abstinent until marriage because they understand how vulnerable and important sex is.
Set aside your fear of sparking curiosity; instead, embrace it. Teach your children holistic views of sexuality and then invite them to ask you more about it. Become their #1 source for questions on intimacy, because you know you can be a safe source.
If you haven’t already, start an ongoing conversion about sex with your kids today.
Don’t cocoon them with discomfort. Empower them with values!
What did your parents teach you about sex? What will you do differently for your children and WHY? Let me know in the comments below!
Read next: The #1 Metaphor to Use When Teaching Sex